Replacing Bad Habits with Intentional Actions: How Ritual Can Help You Manage Substance Use

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives we often find ourselves caught in the web of habits,  routines that we perform almost robotically without much thought or intention. These habits range from the mundane tasks of daily hygiene and household chores to the more ingrained, and sometimes insidious, behaviors like reaching for a cigarette or a drink without a second thought. But amidst the sea of habits there exists another realm – that of rituals, intentional acts that fill our lives with meaning and depth.

On a daily basis, I encounter clients grappling with the desire to break free from destructive habits. They lament how these habits have woven themselves into the fabric of their existence, shaping their actions, relationships, and sense of self in ways they never imagined. A client I'll call Aaron struggled to manage his relationship with cannabis – a companion he'd known since middle school. Abstinence was simply inconceivable for Aaron. The idea of permanently ending a relationship that had been passed down from his father – one that had lasted for decades –  seemed utterly unimaginable to him. But Aaron also didn't want to continue smoking daily. It was interfering with his work and his relationships. 

J: What if you ritualize the use?

A: What do you mean?

J: Well, you're describing this relationship as sacred. Something you inherited from your father. There's a deep family history that you don't want to abandon. Plus there are other benefits you gain from using cannabis. It's your medicine in some ways. And a poison in others. What if you harness the medicinal qualities? Indigenous wisdom teaches us to respect medicinal plants. What if you treated Mary Jane with more respect? What would that look like?

A: Wow, I never thought of it that way before but you're right. I guess I could stop to think whether I really need medicine at this moment.

J: Yes, exactly! And what if the answer is no? What do you want to do then?

A: I can check in with myself about what I'm actually feeling or needing.

J: I love that. Then you can make an informed and values-based decision that tends to the feeling or need. What if the answer is yes? What kind of ritual do you want to create?

After careful consideration, Aaron recognized the need to explore different approaches. If ever faced with the necessity to alleviate physical discomfort or intense emotional distress with cannabis, he resolved to sit at an altar he had prepared for this purpose. There he would recite a prayer honoring the intergenerational bond he shared with the plant. By ritualizing his substance use, Aaron found a way to foster a deeper connection with himself and infuse his actions with intentionality. This is what sets habit apart from ritual. 

At its core, habit is a mechanical response, a behavior driven by repetition and reinforced through conditioning. It serves a practical purpose, streamlining our daily activities and conserving mental energy for more complex tasks. From brushing our teeth to commuting to work, habits form the scaffolding of our daily routines, allowing us to navigate life with relative ease. 

But when substance use becomes habitual it often signals the onset of difficulties. Rather than experiencing a sense of ease, we may find ourselves grappling with feelings of being out of control, burdened by shame, or reacting defensively. The repetitive nature of the behavior can reinforce beliefs of weakness, powerlessness, and inadequacy.

On the other hand, ritual is imbued with intentionality, connection, and meaning that transcends the act itself. Rituals have a unique ability to contain and channel our mental energies, providing us with a framework within which to explore our innermost thoughts and emotions. They offer us a space to express and process our experiences, facilitating insight and slowing down our automatic behaviors.

As a species, we are drawn to the sense of connection that rituals foster – connection to oneself, to others, and to the world around us. In a society plagued by disconnection and isolation, rituals can guide us back to the relationships that matter most.

Another client, whom I'll refer to as Kevin, found himself reaching for a drink whenever his partner left to run errands. Feeling scrutinized about his drinking habits in her presence, Kevin sought relief in these secretive moments. However, he was unable to correlate his partner's departure with underlying feelings of anxiety and longing until we devised a ritual to address the drinking behavior.

In our sessions, we developed a structured approach for Kevin to confront his urges. Whenever the temptation to drink arose, he committed to setting a 5-minute timer and engaging in activities such as listening to music, watching videos, or focusing on work to distract himself. If the urge persisted, Kevin would take a seat on the couch, close his eyes, conduct a thorough body scan, and log every sensation he observed.

Over the course of several months, this practice allowed Kevin to forge a deeper connection between his bodily experiences and his underlying emotions. Through this practice, we discovered that Kevin's secretive drinking wasn't merely an act of defiance but rather a silent plea for connection, a way for him to fill the void left by his partner's absence and bridge the emotional distance between them.

The sense of connection fostered by ritual adds another layer of complexity to the dynamics of addictive behaviors – it acts as both a soothing balm and poison arrow. Most substance use is  characterized by deeply ingrained rituals, forming behavioral patterns that become difficult to untangle. TRIGGER WARNING! If reading about the preparation of substances for use will lead to an urge or craving, skip down to the next paragraph. The ritualization of substance use significantly contributes to its allure. From specialized equipment to social cues and specific environments, every aspect primes the brain for the subsequent surge of dopamine. Whether it's the meticulous preparation of cannabis for rolling into a joint, the artful mixing of alcohol to craft cocktails, the careful preparation of heroin for injection, the precise process of preparing cocaine for snorting, or the ceremonial aspects surrounding psilocybin, LSD, and MDMA use, each substance comes with its own set of cultural norms and rituals for ingestion.

In a sense, these rituals serve as a valuable form of harm reduction, acting as a buffer between the moments of craving and consumption – compelling us to pause and slow down. However, these same rituals also wield considerable influence embedding themselves deeply within our psyche as potent cues, reminders, and associations. Consequently, when striving to change our relationship with a substance, they can prove challenging to overlook or resist.

Ritualizing our substance use is important for cultivating mindfulness and intentionality; it's equally crucial to incorporate non-drug related rituals into our lives. When seeking to replace substance misuse with healthier alternatives, aim for activities that can be deeply ritualized.

Ritualized healthy behaviors are actions or practices that we engage in regularly with intentionality, mindfulness, and perhaps a sense of sacredness. Here are eight ideas for replacing substance misuse with healthy rituals:

1. Meditation: Many people incorporate meditation into their daily routines, setting aside dedicated time to sit quietly, focus on their breath, and cultivate awareness of the present moment. Ritualizing meditation may involve lighting candles, burning incense, or reciting affirmations before or after the practice.

2. Exercise: Whether it's yoga, running, weightlifting, or any other form of physical activity, exercise can become a highly ritualized behavior. This might include specific warm-up routines, wearing certain clothing, or following a structured workout plan with set repetitions and rest intervals.

3. Meal Preparation and Eating: Some of us ritualize the process of meal preparation, taking time to select fresh ingredients, cook mindfully, and savor each bite. Eating itself can also become a ritual, with practices such as saying grace, setting the table, or engaging in mindful eating techniques.

4. Journaling: Keeping a journal can be a ritualized practice for self-reflection and emotional processing. This may involve writing at the same time each day, using a specific journal or pen, and incorporating gratitude exercises or goal-setting activities.

5. Nature Walks: Spending time in nature can be a ritualized form of self-care and connection with the environment. Rituals may include choosing specific trails or locations, practicing grounding exercises, and observing natural phenomena mindfully.

6. Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities like painting, writing, or playing music can be highly ritualized. This might involve setting up a dedicated workspace, following a routine before starting (such as stretching or deep breathing), and incorporating rituals to inspire creativity, such as lighting candles or playing specific music.

7. Bedtime Routine: Establishing a bedtime routine can promote better sleep hygiene and relaxation. Rituals may include activities like taking a warm bath, reading a book, practicing gentle yoga or meditation, and setting intentions for restful sleep.

8. Gratitude Practice: Cultivating a daily practice of gratitude can be highly ritualized, involving activities like writing in a gratitude journal, reciting affirmations, or sharing appreciations with loved ones at a specific time each day.

Last week my yoga teacher said, "Habits that feel good, that get the job done are the seeds of our downfall as a species. We must learn to respond to each moment and engage relationally." Reflecting on her words, I'm reminded of the delicate balance between habit and ritual. While habits may fulfill our immediate needs and desires, they often leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled in the long run. It's only through intentional engagement with each moment, through the cultivation of relational awareness, that we can truly transcend the confines of habit and embrace the connection available through ritual.

The California Center for Change is a team of experienced therapists that help individuals and families impacted by addiction in the San Francisco Bay Area and across California via online therapy.